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Obviously, I don’t advise you to become a “con man.” But wouldn’t it be wonderful if individuals with real ability and honest-to-goodness services to sell would learn to be half as effective as the average con man?

You can learn from the con man without sinking to his level, using the tricks of his trade for good instead of evil. So why don’t we take a look at his methods?

First of all, he does all the things an honest man is supposed to do, and often fails to do.

He looks you straight in the eye.

He takes an easy, relaxed attitude. The confidence man acts so relaxed that his potential victims relax. They just can’t believe that this relaxed individual is a scheming, nefarious con man.

He always looks and acts prosperous. What con man would dare try to win your confidence if he were wearing a worn-out suit, a tie that had seen better days, and shoes with rundown heels? He just wouldn’t be that foolish. Furthermore, con men are known to spend money freely, and with seeming generosity. They never give the impression that they are pressed for money.

The con man usually lets you win a little at first. He appears to be giving a demonstration of a sure method for making money.

So let’s see what rules you and I, who are honest, can pick up from the con man. Remember that his methods of selling himself to others are effective, even though his ends are dishonest.

Let’s use those same methods for honest ends.

Rule 1. Always look right at people to whom you are talking

Looking people in the eye doesn’t prove you’re honest, but since so many men and women believe it does, why not help yourself to this con man’s trick?

Rule 2. Learn to look and act relaxed

If you are stressed or nervous, the person to whom you are speaking will pick up on that tension and mirror it. Whenever you meet someone new, try to figure out some way of putting him at his ease. Concentrating on making the other person feel at ease will help you to relax.

Rule 3. Always look and act prosperous

Wealthy rock stars can dress in shabby torn clothes and with hair that appears not to have been washed in days and be thought eccentric. But the rest of us can’t afford a reputation for eccentricity. So let’s try to get a reputation for prosperity.

You don’t have to bluff others into believing you’re prosperous. You don’t have to lie about the prices you get, the prices you pay, the extraordinary sales you make.

Just look as prosperous as you can. When someone sees you looking healthy, happy, and prosperous, he believes you have something on the ball. If he sees you looking woebegone, wearing seedy clothes and run-down shoes, he immediately visualizes you as a failure.

Actually, you don’t have to wear expensive clothes to look prosperous. But your clothes must be well-fitted and free of wrinkles.

Rule 4. Let the other fellow win sometimes

The eager-beaver salesman who never lets a customer win an argument may wind up without a customer. The over-affable salesman who lets a customer win every argument also ends up without a sale.

In fact, the smart salesman never lets the customer feel that he is engaged in a battle.

The successful con man and the successful salesman usually say, “Of course you’re absolutely right. If I were in your shoes I’d feel the same way. On the other hand . . .” Before you know it, you’re handing over your money or signing an order book.

The difference between the con man and the honest salesman is that the latter offers you honest-to-goodness value for your dollar, whereas the con man offers you the moon.

Copyright Cathy Stucker, based on a work in the public domain.