A letter that I’ve just read contained the following :

Try it, won’t you? I like to see action!

You are what you eat, and what you eat affects how you feel.

If you find yourself dragging through the afternoon and wishing for a nap, it may be because of what you ate for lunch. Having a large meal or a fat-filled fast food feast is a recipe for feeling sluggish.

Skipping lunch isn’t the answer, though. You will feel better and be more productive if you have a light lunch. Skip the heavy meal of fried foods and have a salad or a light sandwich instead. Go easy on the sugar, too. A sugar rush can give way to an energy crash, so skip the sugary soda and high-calorie dessert.

Then, take a brisk walk after lunch to energize and prepare yourself for a productive afternoon.

Try it this week. You will feel better, be more productive and perhaps even drop a few pounds by the end of the week.

Are you trying to fight some enemy in the dark?

Most of you won’t do this, but some of you will. If you lick one this week, you can lick another next.

Cathy’s Commentary:

I got several points out of this Monday Morning Message.

1. We often try to hide our flaws, even from ourselves. But we can’t conquer them unless we see them and acknowledge them.

Own up to your weaknesses, your flaws, the things that are holding you back, then take action to eliminate them.

2. Do not try to tackle all of your obstacles at once. Choose one change you will make this week to get rid of a bad habit, compensate for a weakness or flaw, or overcome an obstacle. Then do it, consistently, every day.

By taking on one enemy at a time, you will soon vanquish your foes and be more productive and successful.

Smash a Window!
Kick in the Door!
Do Something!
Jar Yourself!

Begin on yourself.

Make this the week you make a bold change. Do something you have never done before:

Take on a new challenge. Take on a new responsibility, or create a new product or service for your business.

Let go of something. Have you been holding on to a task that you should not be doing? Delegate it to staff, hire a virtual assistant, outsource it or just stop doing it.

Change your look. Changing your hair and clothes can give you confidence and change your attitude.

Get physical. Push yourself to run, sign up for a yoga class, join a gym (and go), and look for ways to challenge yourself physically everyday.

Approach someone who could be a mentor to you. Look for a way you can work together.

Find someone you can mentor. You do not have be at the very top of your industry to be a valuable mentor to someone else. And you can learn by mentoring someone else.

Start something. Commit to starting a new habit that will make you healthier, more productive, happier or somehow make your life better.

Stop something. Give up a destructive or harmful habit or practice. Quit smoking, stop procrastinating, or anything else that holds you back.

Find a way to make technology work for you. Start using a new tool that will change how you do things and make you more productive.

Change your attitude. Instead of “I can’t,” say “I will.” With a conscious effort you can turn a negative attitude to a positive one.

Do the thing you fear. Are you afraid to make a speech? Or even to speak up in a meeting? Do it!

Make this the week you do something that will jar you out of your routine, generate excitement and boost your confidence.

Here are some tips to help you clear the gunk out of your mind, be more focused and get more done.

Write it down. The more things you try to remember, the harder it becomes to remember any of them. And you may always have the nagging feeling that you are forgetting something—even if you are not. Set up a system where you write down anything that needs to be done: appointments, errands, phone calls, projects, etc. It could be a paper notebook, a file on your computer, or text messages to yourself. Use whatever works best for you, but write it all down.

Have a routine. Routines allow you to get things done without spending a lot of time thinking about what to do or in what order. If you know that every morning you get up, work out, shower, have breakfast, then check your email, you will just do it without having to agonize over it. The same thing goes for your workday. Have a routine for the things you must do every day, then follow the routine.

Set priorities. Know what is most important in your life right now, and deal with that. The rest of it can wait.

Do not attempt to multitask. You may think you can, but you can’t. Your brain can do one thing at a time, and trying to shift from one thing to another ends up taking more time than if you just did one thing at a time. Focus on what is in front of you now, do it, then move on to the next thing.

Learn to say no. You can not do everything everyone wants you to do. There are only 24 hours in the day, and you need at least a few of them for things such as eating and sleeping. This does not mean that you should never help anyone, or that you should always say no, but that you should not take on more than you can do. Too often we say yes because we do not want to be seen as selfish or uncaring. It is not selfish to say no to requests when you are already overloaded. Just say no.

Do not worry about things you can not control. Take any action you can to avoid an undesirable outcome, or to minimize the effects, then put it out of your mind. It may rain on the day of your child’s birthday party. Make a Plan B in case that happens, then forget about it. You may not get that new client. Do your best proposal, follow up appropriately, then let things take their course. Losing sleep and making yourself crazy will not make anything come out better.

Put things in logical places. Keep your briefcase, keys and other items you often carry with you in one place, together. When there is something else you need to take (e.g., a package to drop off at the post office) put it with your keys. You won’t have to hunt for what you need and you won’t forget anything.

Take time to recharge. Just like your cell phone, you lose power when you do not recharge now and then. Make time during the day to meditate, listen to music, read, have a cup of tea or whatever relaxes you. A few minutes spent recharging can make you more effective all day.

Although you can and should make changes and improvements at any time, the new year is always a popular time to make changes, acquire new habits and lose bad habits.

Take advantage of the spirit of the season and make the changes you need to make to be successful.

Don’t be timid—take big steps. Start by revolutionizing your thinking.

When looking for a solution to a problem, don’t just use the first idea that comes along. Unlike when we were in school, there is often more than one correct answer. Don’t stop looking for that answer until you’ve come up with several. Then, consider the pluses and minuses of each before settling on a solution.

Take old ideas and turn them on their heads. Instead of doing something because you always have, or because everyone else does, or “that’s just the way it is,” look for ways to improve on those old ideas.

Ask “why” you are doing things the way you are. Are those ways as successful as you’d like? Might you be more successful trying something else?

Ask “why not.” Is there something that you’re not doing now? Why not try it? Is there a marketing strategy you’ve been thinking of trying? A new product or service your customers want? Why not try that strategy or introduce that new product now?

Get rid of the fear. Fear is good when it keeps us from doing things which are dangerous. But too often, fear keeps us from doing anything which is new or different. Don’t let fear make decisions for you. I always ask myself, “What is the worst thing that can happen if I try this and fail?” In business, the answer usually is that I will be out a little time and a little money, and I may feel a little embarrassed that I failed with something I thought was a good idea. All things considered, that’s not a big risk. Learn to assess the possible risks against the possible rewards.

Don’t just sit there, do something! The biggest change for many of us would be simply taking action. Don’t let “analysis paralysis” stop you from acting. Look for great new ideas, then put them in motion. You don’t have to have the perfect idea at the perfect time executed in the perfect way for it to work. A good idea at the right time can be just what you need to make a big difference. If you’re not ready to jump in with both feet, test your idea by implementing it on a small scale. Use what you learn to improve it, then try again.

Change your way of thinking, be open to new ideas, and shake off the fear. Then, go out there and make things happen!

Want to be happy? Act as though you are happy.

Want recharge your marriage? Remember how you felt in the early days of your relationship, and act that way again.

Want to have a job you can love? Act as though you love your current job.

Want to be more confidant? Act as though you are confident.

Acting as if you already have what you want will change your attitude to a more positive one. It will also alter how you behave toward other people and how they react to you. You will create the habits necessary to get—and be—what you want.

Acting as if is not easy. It takes practice and reinforcement. You will need to change the negative thoughts and actions that have become habits over many years. Cut yourself some slack while you are establishing new patterns, but keep acting as if and your new attitude will become a habit.

Try it—and be amazed by the results!

To be more and achieve more, you must start by believing that change is possible. It is. You are not locked in to the life you have today.

Do not become discouraged when the changes you want do not happen overnight, or you find yourself backsliding into old, bad habits. You may take two steps forward and one step back many times, but the idea is to keep up the forward progress.

Here are ten ways in which each of us can change himself for the better.

1. Accept yourself. In a study made of a group of college students, it was found that those who were healthiest mentally nearly always accepted  themselves,  with  all  their faults and virtues, just as naturally as they accepted other phenomena of nature: the brooks, the valleys, the mountains, the trees. Don’t continually tear yourself apart because you don’t think you’re worthy of being loved and accepted by others.
2. Believe in yourself. Everyone has some special talent, or mark of individuality. If you don’t know what yours is, that doesn’t mean you don’t possess one. Keep seeking till you find out what your best talents are.
3. Think of how to make others happy. If you spend too much time wondering whether or not you’re happy, you won’t be.
4. Keep your hands and your mind occupied most of the time. As the old saying goes, “Idle hands are the devil’s playground.”
5. Be good to yourself. Be sure to allow for some recreational activities in your life. Always have an activity that will be fun for you planned for the near future. Always have something you are looking forward to.
6. Try to make others feel comfortable and at ease. When you meet someone for the first time, concentrate on trying to make him feel comfortable. That will keep you from feeling self-conscious. It is almost impossible for two thoughts to occupy the mind at the same time. If you concentrate on thinking about the other person, you will be too busy to worry about yourself, and you won’t give those around you the impression that you’re self-centered.
7. Decide which of your worries can be cured. Then do something about them. If you have some worries you can’t do anything about, learn to accept the situation involved without bitterness.
8. Love yourself, and then learn to love as many persons as you can besides yourself. If there are some you can’t help disliking, try to be fair to them. Look for their good traits. Everyone has them you know.
9. Believe in some Power higher and greater than yourself. If you don’t want to call that power God, then call it by whatever name you choose. Believe, also, in a universe that is working toward some final good purpose. You won’t always know what the final pattern will be, but try to make the stitches you yourself sew as fine and beautiful as possible, so you can be proud and happy about them. We all contribute to the fabric of life.
10. Forget the past. Yesterday was a dream; tomorrow may never come. Today is all we have, so use this fragment of time in the best way you can.

This is why I would not make a good radio advice show host: My advice would have been, “You don’t like your life? Get off your ass and do something about it! And stop sniffling. Dear God, it is no wonder you do not have any friends. Would you want to be around someone like you?”

Gee, does that seem harsh? I tend not to be very understanding of people who whine and complain but never to do anything to change their situation. Want to know why?
I have been there. We all have. We all have crap happen to us. We have to deal with illness, economic hardship, heartbreak, disappointment, fear, failure, loss, emotional distress and all the bad stuff that is sometimes a part of life. Sometimes these things happen because of choices we make and other times they just happen.

Having a bad thing happen can feel like getting punched in the gut. It can take the wind right out of you. I think that it is natural after a setback to lick your wounds for a while. In my experience, the difference between someone who moves on and makes things better and someone who stays mired in despair is having a belief that they control their own destiny. What is more important than what happens to you is how you react to it.

This is important, so pay close attention: What is more important than what happens to you is how you react to it.

If you believe that you are a victim and you do not control your destiny, you are not going to make good choices. You will stay mired in a bad situation instead of moving to a better one. You may believe that it does not matter what you choose, because you can not affect the outcome. Baloney.

On the other hand, if you believe that you have the power to make things better (or at least make them different) you will take action.

Many years ago, a friend was complaining to me about how everything in her life was bad, and it was all out of her control. The first thing she mentioned was her job. Huh? If your job makes you miserable, find another job. Of course, when I suggested getting a new job she had a hundred reasons why she couldn’t do that. A few months later, though, her boss made her mad enough that she quit and began a new career. It was the best thing that she could have done. Not long after starting the new job she was happier and more successful than she had been in years. She was willing to tolerate some misery, but left when it became too much. How much misery are you willing to tolerate before you act?

Do not wait for things to become unbearable before you take action.

Disappointed in the people you are dating? Don’t have enough friends? Be the person you would like to have as a friend, lover or spouse. You will be more likely to attract a quality partner if you are a person of quality.

Buried in bills? Make a plan and dig yourself out.

None of these things will miraculously transform your life overnight. They take time. Bad stuff will still happen to you. But if instead of feeling sorry for yourself and wallowing in your misery, you ask, “What can I do to make this better?” your life will get better.

And taking charge of your life has other benefits. When you know that you are in control, you will be more confident, more positive and happier. Do not wait for someone or something else to transform your life. Do it yourself, and do it now.

Whatever your resolutions, it is likely that they will not survive to see February. Most people who solemnly list all the ways they are going to improve themselves give up all too soon. Not only are they still stuck with their bad habits, they also have a sense of failure hanging over them.

There is nothing wrong with making resolutions. However, trying to completely change your life over night is usually doomed to failure. The exception is when there is a powerful motivating force, such as the need to make lifestyle changes due to a major illness. Change or die can be a powerful motivation.

For most of us, though, the motivation to uphold our New Year’s resolutions is nowhere near that strong. And, when it gets hard it is easier to just quit.

I do not say this to discourage you, but to show you that there is a better way. Here are some tips to make changes in your life that will stick.

Changes do not have to start on January 1st. Yes, it is a new beginning, but any day can be a new beginning. You know, “today is the first day of the rest of your life,” and all that. The best time to make a change is always today, whether today is January 1 or June 8 or any other day.

Do not try to change everything in your life at once. Choose one small thing and change it, one thing you will do everyday. You can set yourself up for failure by trying to do to many things at once.

Make incremental changes. Instead of going on a crash diet, change some of your choices. Eat a little less at each meal, substitute a low-cal treat for dessert, cut out that late-night snack, etc. You do not even have to do all of these at once. Try adding one change every week or so.

You will never be perfect, so do not expect perfection. Yes, you will slip up sometimes. Well, you are human. We all make mistakes and bad choices at times. Accept responsibility, but do not beat yourself up over it. Just go on doing your best.

One treatment for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is to divert the urge to do the compulsive behavior to another activity. So, instead of washing their hands again, or checking that the stove is really off when they know that it is, the OCD patient tells himself or herself that they do not need to do the thing their brain is telling them to do, it is only a manifestation of their illness. Then they do something else, such as play the piano, work in the garden or other physical activity. You do not have to have OCD to benefit from this kind of therapy. Choose something you will do instead of the habit you want to change. The next time you find yourself about to fall in to your old habit, catch yourself and divert your attention to the new activity. Instead of mindlessly parking yourself in front of the television, take a walk, play with your kids, take a language lesson on your computer or anything else that works for you.

Stick with it for at least three weeks. There is a body of research that claims that if you can do something for 21 days, it has now become a habit. The same idea applies when trying to learn a new skill. It can be frustrating at first, because it may not come naturally. However, if you stick with it and practice, you can learn just about anything.

Watch out for negative talk. The people around you may try to discourage you. It may be that they are jealous, or afraid or unwilling to face change themselves. Their reasons do not matter. If you believe that family, friends or co-workers may try to sabotage your efforts, do not talk to them about what you are doing. And do not sabotage yourself by saying things such as, “I knew I couldn’t do this,” or “I can’t seem to do anything right,” or “I will never be able to do this.”

Get support from like-minded people. Even if your goals are not the same, working with a friend and holding each other accountable helps to keep you on track. It can be as simple as telling each other what change you are working on that week, then touching base at the end of the week to share how you did. Just knowing that you will report your progress to someone can help keep you on the right track.

Just do it. The best way to make any change is simply to decide to change, then change. If you really want it, you will make it happen.